Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The Last Time Ever I Legolanded

I don’t know if this past weekend visit to Legoland was our last, but it’s a distinct possibility. At ages ten and almost twelve, our kids are quickly outgrowing the little kid coasters and baby rides. On our way to Carlsbad, I determined to savor every moment of the weekend, in case it truly was the last. We have such a family history of going to Legoland: for end-of-summer vacations, for birthdays, and even to celebrate David being able to walk without crutches again. I love that the park is a manageable size, that there’s always a cool coastal breeze even in the heat of August, that the lines are so short compared to the bigger parks, and that they have so many rides that I am not afraid to ride! I fact, I used to tell my family that I’d still be going to Legoland, after they’d outgrown it because it’s “just my speed.” It’s truly been therapy for me on so many levels, from the giggles and grins, to the conquering my fear of really small heights. I have been very fearful of heights, and I really am a wimp when it comes to roller coasters. I have gone from the thrill of riding the littlest Dino coaster (my first coaster in decades) to riding the tallest, the Technic Test Track coaster just last weekend! That one used to terrify me. Now it’s a thrill! Suffice to say, I have a lot more invested in Legoland than just the tired feet and dollars spent.

As it happens, I was determined to savor this trip because of our bathtub. The kids don’t take baths anymore, and honestly, I can’t remember the last time one of them did. I passed by the bathtub last week, and tears tumbled when I realized I didn’t remember THE LAST TIME. That led to thinking of all the “last times” I don’t remember. When was the last time we had a car seat in the car? The last time Cameron used a pacifier? The last time ChloĆ« sat in a high chair or slept in her sweet little bassinette?
I suppose that, at the time the moment of transition, we’re celebrating, not looking back. How liberating to be able to travel without a car seat! What a “big boy” to give up the pacifier! Why does it feel so sad, then, to look back and not remember a moment not deemed worthy of special consideration at the time? Thinking back to the weekend, what made it so special is not that it was “the last time.” What made it special is that I set an intention to, and DID, enjoy each moment fully. Aha. This is yet one more reminder to Be Present Always. If I’m truly Present for each and every moment, then I know I’ve given each moment all that I have. And then there’s nothing to regret.