Friday, October 8, 2010

Hanging On the Dark Side of the Moon

I've just returned from a 13-day journey of romance, remembering and awakening. It was such a life-changing experience that I'm feeling at a loss now to know what I will do ~ or even who I will BE ~ now that it is done.  It's not such an odd question, I suppose, for someone who has had four different occupations, not including the all-consuming occupation of motherhood.  Still, it seems a sudden and jarring shift, feeling so disconnected from the activities and intentions that kept me so preoccupied just a couple of weeks ago. 

Or is that even true?  I still feel deeply committed to preserving and honoring Earth's precious resources.  I still intend to create wealth through my own businesses, rather than just getting by, working for an hourly wage.  I still feel passionately devoted to empowering people to connect to their inner truth.  So it seems my passions are in place.  It's the means of serving them that feel out of synch.

The idea that I'm doing something to honor the Earth by sending once-used containers out for recycling feels hollow.  The idea of doing business without approaching it from a place of deep spirituality feels empty.  The idea that signing people up for a legal services plan is a means of empowering people feels lacking.  Everything that I once said I was doing to serve and honor my passions seems to fall far short of the mark.  And yet I don't know how to better serve them. 

What I do know ~ and feel intensely ~ is that this life, this world, this Universe is an expression of the One, the infinite Divine mind (God/dess, Creator, Great Spirit, whatever name you choose).  Everything I can see, touch, and feel is a gift of, from, and as God.  Doing anything that does not reflect that awareness seems empty and pointless to me now.  Not that I inted to join a convent or crawl into a cave.  Quite the contrary.  I feel utterly and essentially drawn to experience this world with my full being, to delight in the exquisite gift that it is.  I intend to LIVE more fully in this world than ever before.  I don't *know* yet how that will look, but I do know how it feels and that's the key to awakening and manifesting anything. 

It feels so delicious to honor the Earth, to embrace abundance, and be of service to others so that they may know the same.   I intend to hang here, loving the feeling of life as I intend to live it, as long as this opportunity is here.  It's a perfect non-activity for this time of the New Moon, when the night sky is darkest and the possibilities are endless.  Blessed be.

1 comment:

  1. Sounds as if the journey continues. Enjoy it, you sound so peaceful.
    Best,
    Esther

    ReplyDelete

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